I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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