Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
