we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
