People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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