aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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