in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
