i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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