What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
