At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
