"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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