There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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