ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
