Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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