I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I could fuck to npr.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
