Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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