If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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