And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
her vagine was all disorganized.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize