Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
