i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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