That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
