I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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