Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize