All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
