That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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