Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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