The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize