Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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