Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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