i just google imaged poop.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
