About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
