so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Small penises have feelings too.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
