I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
