Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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