i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize