And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
