I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
