She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
