Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
