he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
