i love accidental penises.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
