i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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