hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
