i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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