woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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