And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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