I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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