All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
