**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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