I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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