the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
