Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
