Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
