Can Purell be used as lube?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
