that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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