I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
