If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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