No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize