I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
