So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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