States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
