you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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