Nicole vs. Life
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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