just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
