the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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