he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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