did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
