If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
