I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
