PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
