He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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