If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
