Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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