sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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