There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
