The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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