My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
