idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Randomize
