i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
