Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
