Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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