She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
