He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He did a backflip because drugs
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
