Where did you get a picture of my penis
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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