I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
