I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
